Have you ever gone against the will of a group and stood by your beliefs, despite the pressure that is being put on you?
It is my experience that many people will not speak their truth through fear of disapproval. My dad has just left after a relaxing afternoon of catching up and I’m left here to sit and reflect on what has just happened.
Three and a half years ago my grandad, David Shaw, died, aged 94. Two years earlier I sat down and chatted with him about his life and recorded the conversations. For the first time since I have just sat down with my dad and listened to them again. It was as though he came down to join us one more time, bearing some powerful lessons.
He lived in a different time, almost a different universe.
With no money, he joined the RAF, in 1940. He had to go and train in the USA and then in Canada. My grandad was not one for falling into line because it made his life easier. He upset a few people with his straight-talking persona and sent almost all of his money back to my granny, in Belfast, so he had very little to live on.
Because cutlery was going missing from the canteen in the Canadian airbase the 2,000 recruits were ordered to pay 50 cents for their own set of cutlery, which they were to bring to each meal.
Everyone, except my grandad did what they were told.
If he had paid the money he would not have enough to live on and, out of principle, he refused. This upset all of the senior officers and landed my grandad in the black book. He would almost certainly have made it to the front line of the war, which was what he wanted to do, at least 18 months earlier.
He was thrown out of fighter command, as a pilot, and demoted to bomber command, as a navigator.
He took to navigation like a duck to water, loving the study of astral navigation. However, he was constantly overlooked for his commission to get to the front. He just kept doing what he was best at and studying constellations for the use of navigation.
Then a reporter started speaking to him.
His story so intrigued a reporter one day that he took up the story and pursued it to the highest level. This led to the discovery that he should have been commissioned at least 18 months earlier and been paid more.
18 months late, he was sent to the front line of the war.
His first 7 missions were bombing Berlin at night. During the first mission they almost died because they shot back. As they flew at night and every third bullet was a tracer, enemy fighters could see where they were. Their bomber was shredded by enemy bullets but, miraculously, none of them died.
This led to a group decision by his crew never to fire back at enemy fighters again.
On average 7% of the crew of every mission died. Based on this average, anyone who flew over 14 missions should be dead. My grandad went on to fly 42 missions, winning the Distinguished Flying Cross after being attacked 7 times by enemy fighters during one raid.
Bearing in mind that bombers were bigger, less mobile manoeuvrable, had less firepower than fighters and with filled with explosives and fuel, this was a highly hazardous job.
Statistically, he should have been dead 3 times over.
Although his brother died in the RAF during the war, my grandad survived. Had he not upset anyone and fallen ino line at his Canadian training base then he would have almost certainly entered the war at least 18 months earlier and almost certainly have died. Furthermore, I would not be here to tell the tale.
Are you facing an unpopular decision that may upset other people?
We must all, at times, make decisions that will be unpopular in life. For the best will in the world, sometimes a relationship must end, redundancy notices must be handed out or a conviction must be stated that will attract criticism, derision, or even hatred, from certain factions of society. However, these convictions do not only make you stronger – they could save your life.
People may not like decisions that you voice publicly. In the case of some notable leaders, like Gandhi or Martin Luther King, they may even lead to your death. However, when you do not speak your truth this can lead to a slow death from within, which, I believe, is far worse.
I believe that this is a big cause of heart disease.
Unless your truth is expressed it will manifest, as will symptoms. Some key indicators are high blood pressure, not wanting to go to work/back home after work, extreme reactions to people through unexpressed feelings, disharmony, excessive weight gain, depression, excess anger.
As Emiliano Zapata once said “It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.”
Maybe you disagree. That’s ok, I can take it!
My dad left today with a smile on his face. It was a great moment for me after a powerful reminder of where I have come from.
Thank you David Shaw – You have inspired me today, even from your grave